Joan Murphy.

My Nan passed away yesterday, I know that Luke passing and Anne upset me and my family but for me this is my first family death and she was my only Nan, It hurts so much more, I was her first grandchild she used to take me everywhere when I was younger. She would let me play with her make up, I always stayed over at hers, She made me watch horror films from such a young age so she is the reason I love a good horror. So many memories, I even remember that song she used to sing to me and Niamh…

"Happy talkin’ talkin’ happy talk, Talk about the things you’d like to do, You’ve got to have a dream, If you don’t have a dream, How you gonna have a dream come true"

The ring that was left to me in her will is two sizes too small, Will get it resized, I don’t think it has properly sunk in that she is gone.

I had just got to work and saw Gemma and flung my arms in the air and said “GEMMA!” then my face dropped and I laughed to myself hard and Gemma asked “What?” I aid in between laughs that I forgot to put a bra on! Phoned up to the manager and told her while still laughing and Gemma laughing too my manager burst out laughing also so I said I would quickly run home and get one on so I left and I tried calling my Mum to tell her and I got through to her and I kept trying to say that I have the best story to tell her and she just kept saying “Has Niamh called you yet?” I said “No” then she just blurted it out while crying “Nan died this morning” I just stopped breathing and held on to the brick wall and started to cry, Been crying a lot since but I still do not think that It has properly sunk in, Greg went left for work at half 8, Odd being here alone now with my thoughts, he took the day off work for me yesterday which was really nice of him cause I know his training is so important to him now.
Ok I am rambling now but I just don’t know what to do…I’m just looking at wreaths for her, I don’t know if she has a favourite flower…I know for sure though that it will have pink in it, Maybe some lilies.

It wasn’t even the cancer that got her, but it sure weakened her and her heart.



I am going to miss you so much Nan, I’ll always be your little munchkin. Now you’ll be happier with your brothers and Joyce. I love you.

Saturday with 31 notes / reblog
Saturday with 145 notes / reblog
Thursday with 2 notes / reblog
Not Happy.

So two days ago i notice i had an eye infection, Annoying as i am meant to be doing another photoshoot for Zoey and urgh i can’t be a model with a disgusting eye! Also i called in ill from work yesterday and today, Annoying as i was given overtime this week but it’s highly contagious at this point, Have work tomorrow but don’t really want to lose out on more money as i do have Friday, Saturday and Sunday off work this week but i am telling my boss that i will not be on the shop floor, No way. I’d scare people off with my yucky eye.

To top off this eye infection that won’t budge, I noticed yesterday that i have swollen glands in my throat which are pretty sore, I am very weak, light headed and don’t feel like eating..Should i even go into work if i feel this bad?

My only plus side of this week is that since i started my diet last week i have lost weight hurrah!