I have just got back from tending to Nans grave, so so many graves over grown it was hard to not tidy a few of them while we were there. Threw away all of her wreaths now all dead but we bought some really nice flowers for her too and a cup of tea.
Went back to the jewellers about sorting my ring as he loosened the diamonds when he made it smaller but its fine now, feels good having her ring back on my finger.
Also my healthier living is a success so far already lost some weight!
Time for some salmon.

Hard times.

Greg got back from work at 7.30am this morning and he came over to the bed and cuddled me and I started talking about Nan then for the first time Greg spoke to me about his Nan, All I knew is that she died when he was 11 and he was her favourite grandchild, So he completely understands what I am going through so as we were telling each other stories about our Nan’s I just started crying and he whispered “I know what your going through” and he got upset too, I know it is hard for him to talk about her but I was glad he was able to talk about it as he said he has never spoken to anyone about her not since she died so it was nice sharing nice memories of two people we cared a lot about.

Joan Murphy.

My Nan passed away yesterday, I know that Luke passing and Anne upset me and my family but for me this is my first family death and she was my only Nan, It hurts so much more, I was her first grandchild she used to take me everywhere when I was younger. She would let me play with her make up, I always stayed over at hers, She made me watch horror films from such a young age so she is the reason I love a good horror. So many memories, I even remember that song she used to sing to me and Niamh…

"Happy talkin’ talkin’ happy talk, Talk about the things you’d like to do, You’ve got to have a dream, If you don’t have a dream, How you gonna have a dream come true"

The ring that was left to me in her will is two sizes too small, Will get it resized, I don’t think it has properly sunk in that she is gone.

I had just got to work and saw Gemma and flung my arms in the air and said “GEMMA!” then my face dropped and I laughed to myself hard and Gemma asked “What?” I aid in between laughs that I forgot to put a bra on! Phoned up to the manager and told her while still laughing and Gemma laughing too my manager burst out laughing also so I said I would quickly run home and get one on so I left and I tried calling my Mum to tell her and I got through to her and I kept trying to say that I have the best story to tell her and she just kept saying “Has Niamh called you yet?” I said “No” then she just blurted it out while crying “Nan died this morning” I just stopped breathing and held on to the brick wall and started to cry, Been crying a lot since but I still do not think that It has properly sunk in, Greg went left for work at half 8, Odd being here alone now with my thoughts, he took the day off work for me yesterday which was really nice of him cause I know his training is so important to him now.
Ok I am rambling now but I just don’t know what to do…I’m just looking at wreaths for her, I don’t know if she has a favourite flower…I know for sure though that it will have pink in it, Maybe some lilies.

It wasn’t even the cancer that got her, but it sure weakened her and her heart.

I am going to miss you so much Nan, I’ll always be your little munchkin. Now you’ll be happier with your brothers and Joyce. I love you.